Making the Exchange

There was a time when I thought that giving my heart to the Lord was a one time dedication. I have since learned that it step by step - line upon line - precept upon precept - gaining ground gradually procedure.

A few years ago, I was taught a valuable lesson by a mentor of mine. The lesson is this: take whatever you are feeling in a particular situation and say "Lord if I give you this -- what will you give me in exchange?" He will speak something amazing to you - that always brings freedom and liberation to your spirit. It never fails - I guarantee it! It works for loneliness, for insecurity, for sadness and disappointment - It works for every situation. Jesus takes our hearts -- whatever we offer -- compartment by compartment.

As an artist, the opinions of others have swayed me too easily. Why is it that I do not hear the compliments and only retain the critical words spoken. I can be painting and conversations come to my mind of negative words spoken years earlier - but not the compliments. I have been struggling ...I struggle with the fear of failure and the fear of success. (Which basically leaves me stuck where I am at)

I prayed, Lord if I give you this fear what will you give me in exchange? God spoke softly to me that he would give me obedience and that if I would walk in obedience and take the steps toward what I feel called to do ... then all of heaven would back me!
How empowering is that?

So here I am back at my easel - thinking like about what to paint.

Poem written by David Odoki

David was one of the children on my African Children's Choir tour.
He comes from Uganda from an area where the Lords Resistance Army has terrorized. He hasn't had the easiest life - but has a deep relationship with Jesus. I have seen where David has come from and where he is today -- and I am so proud. There was a time when David wouldn't allow himself to receive love from anyone - so for me to see his words in this poem - shows me the progress the Lord has made in his heart. I love this boy more than he could ever imagine. Here is the poem he wrote.

A long time ago.

Shepherds kept their watch that silent night.

The sky too blazed with beautiful stars

Across the wilderness three wise men drew closer Upon camels they hurried with gifts Something beautiful was about to happen

Something so special to unfold.

From Galilee to Bethlehem a husband and wife journeyed

Upon a tender donkey Mary road to destiny

In the temple courts an old prophet paced up and down.

So excited that all he waited for was about to happen

The brightest star ever shone across the happy sky.

This star announced a new beginning to our world.

That night the sheep too sensed something unusual.

Then it happened!

In a manger the sweetest cry rang forth

Behold! Jesus was born into our world.

Born to bring life and hope to a thirsty world

Born to redeem our world from sin.

I bring you good news of great joy, an angel proclaimed

The savior, yes the messiah the lord, has been born,

Tonight in Bethlehem , in the City of David the savior is born.

And so from century to century this wonderful story trickles forth

A true story to every race, tongue and distance .

A story bringing untold hope and new life to all mankind.

Merry Christmas!

By odoki david

Imploding

This painting is an explosion of abstract shapes that resemble emeralds. Some are clear - others obscure and misshaped.

I was considering painting over this picture but then with a second look - I realized that it sort of describes where I am in life at the moment. Lately, I feel like I am exploding on the inside. Thus the title: "Imploding"
Yes, imploding, collapsing and caving in on the inside.

The plans that I have been aiming at fell apart. My world inwardly seems to be spinning out of my control and my hopes somewhat in a pile of rubble. Trying to see the humor in this instance ... my brothers rock tumbler came to mind. I was amused to think --- perhaps this is what's happening spiritually in my heart.

Instructions for the rock tumbler read: Add rocks, water, and coarse abrasive grit to tumbler. Let tumble for one to two weeks. Wash stones thoroughly. Repeat if desired for smoother stones.

What I need to glean through this, is that God is in control in every situation~~ even when I don't see him and my world is spinning. He uses the worst situations /abrasive relationships and works them to the good... that I believe. Through these times, He will take my rough-edged character and will perfect it until I am a polished gem. This I am sure ... What I am not so comfortable with is the "Repeat if desired" part!

Be still

I have been doing some deep thinking lately. Examining my heart. Sorting through some old memories. Some that need to be tossed out - some that need to be remembered vividly. Sometimes the old painful memories seem to fog over the good times - so I am sorting, analyzing and deleting.

I question myself - why is it that my heart never wants what God wants? So much pain could have been spared by stopping and asking for directions along the path and by recognizing the warning signs!

But by looking back over my shoulder now, l may turn into a pillar of salt and be rendered useless for the present. Perhaps the lesson is -- to see Gods compassion and mercy despite my stupidity and to Jesus as a horse whisper - kneeling on one knee waiting for me to come to the end of myself and when I have calmed down -- He slowly walks over with the intent of restoration.

The Bible verse "Be still and know that I am God" fascinates me. The word "still" means to let go, to surrender or to release. The word "know" translates to mend by weaving or darning - like a fishermen would mend his nets - to mend as good as new. The Lord promises that he will bind up the wounds of the broken hearted - if I would just be still.